22 Things I Still Don't Know
The other day I celebrated my 22nd birthday. This one isn't a traditional milestone like 21, but for some reason I feel particularly old now, like I'm supposed to be an adult or something.
I was tempted to write a list of things I've learned in my 22 years of life because, you know, I'm an adult now and adults are supposed to know stuff. But, instead, I thought the more honest thing to do would be to write a list of things I haven't learned in my 22 years of life.
Because even though I should know stuff, I don't.
So, I've made a list for you of the things I don't know as a 22 year old but probably should know. And, coincidentally, there are exactly 22 of them:
1. I don't know how cars work. I mean, I know that pistons fire and rods go up and down, but what does that even mean?
2. I don't know where Rhode Island is, or if it's even a state anymore.
3. I don't know how the US Postal Service works. They could employ a whole fleet of those owls from Harry Potter for all I know.
4. I don't know how to address a letter. But owls can't read anyway so it doesn't really matter.
5. I don't know how to fold a fitted sheet.
6. I don't know why the word "colonel" has an "l" in the middle of it. I've just accepted it as if it makes sense.
7. I don't know how to write capital letters in cursive.
8. I don't know all the words to "Bohemian Rhapsody." I usually just move my lips and hope it matches the lyrics.
9. I don't know where gasoline comes from. My parents always said it came from dead dinosaurs, but come on. I'm not 12 anymore..
10. I don't know why girls are the way that they are.
11. I don't know how to cook. Like, at all.
12. I don't know why there are eight Fast and Furious movies. That just seems excessive, doesn't it?
13. I don't know how to do karate. (If the 10 year old version of myself could read this, he would be so disappointed. He loves Jackie Chan.)
14. I don't know why girls go to the bathroom together. Or why they go to the bathroom at all, for that matter. It's not like they actually use it for anything. Right? RIGHT!?
15. I don't know what state the Grand Canyon is in.
16. I don't know why "pants" come in pairs. It's one article of clothing. It would make sense if we called each leg a "pant", but we don't. We call them "pant legs". My shirt has two shirt sleeves, but we don't call it a "pair of shirts." I digress.
17. I don't know why Anakin Skywalker has an American accent but Darth Vader has a British accent. They're the same person. It doesn't make sense.
18. I don't know how eyebrows know when to stop growing.
19. I don't know how to use a fire extinguisher. I've banked everything on the odds that I'll never have to use one.
20. I don't know how they made two Lindsay Lohans in The Parent Trap.
21. I don't know anyone named Hank.
But above all...
22. I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life.
* * *
Growing up is hard, but I'm trying my best at it. For instance, I made my bed the other day. That almost never happens. Also, I can now grow a beard that rivals an average 17 year old.
In many ways, though, I think I lack in the manhood department. Because I still ask my mom to buy me cheese whiz. And that bed I made the other day has Buzz Lightyear sheets on it. I still have a long way to go.
But I don't think my list of "I don't know's" should keep me from adulthood. (I'm mostly referring to number 22 on the list. I should probably learn how to change my oil.)
Because maybe it's ok not to know everything. Maybe it's alright to follow Jesus day by day, even if it gets pretty uncertain at times. Maybe He even prefers us that way, relinquishing our own agenda for his.
Sure, I'm an English major whose only clear path is headed straight toward poverty-stricken despair, but I'm pretty positive this is where God has led me. So as a 22 year old trying to figure life out, I'm not afraid to say those three, terrifying words.
I don't know.
